Serenity now!

Everyday, do something that scares you.

Yesterday, I got off my lazy butt to attend an Aikido class from 7-9pm.

It was worth it. In two hours I felt more confident/less helpless.

I am going to continue the Monday night ritual…

Even if we will be punching each other in the face.

My Sierra Nevada pint glass broke.

It crashed to the floor while I was washing dishes.

It was startling.

I don’t like when my glasses break.

I’ve already broken two glasses in this apartment, whereas in my last 4 years I’ve only broken a bowl.

Papa Roach’s lyrics seem more fitting now than ever:

“I’m walking on broken glass

from the wreckage of my past”

Overwhelmed.

I exploded[cried]. I let it out. And it felt better.

I’m battling to stay in this hypnotic daze from my travels; however, the logical part of me says to “acclimate now!”

I don’t want to acclimate just yet. I like seeing things differently…and strongly.

I have the rest of my life to be numb in my own culture.

But a lot of me is getting scared.

Being out of sync with the environment is scary.

I can’t stay out of sync, no matter how much I want to because I’m losing face with all that I’ve ever known.

Or so it feels that way.

I want to stop feeling.