Reckless

May 17, 2008

I can’t stop myself.

I can’t pass up an opportunity.

God, I hate myself! :(

What have I learned in the past 7 months?!

I sure as hell haven’t learned to cure myself from feeling like I’m missing out — that is for certain.

Stab me.

Make me stop.

I am weak-willed.

I am a slave to the slightest desire.

I have no foundation and nothing to hold onto.

Help me.

I am losing my way.

Every week it’s someone new.

I am a fucking whore.

I go through the motions,

expecting to get my drive back –

so that I can justify a craving.

I have no real cravings for it, strangely.

And I really don’t want it.

So why do I keep doing it?

Because I’m restless.

And when I’m restless, I become reckless.

Tired as fucking hell.

It’s 6am and I’m finally going to get to sleep.

Entry Filed under: bitch, challenges, contemplate contradictions and complexities, culture, learning, opportunities, pursuit of happiness, secrets, sex, summer fever, these thoughts. .

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