Constant vs Variable

Being in the SVO for the past week and a half has really begged the question,

“How the hell do people work in the same location, same space, surrounded by the same people — day in and day out?”

I guess what really matters is whether you enjoy what you’re doing or not.

People start creating their own space –

hanging photos, decorating their cube…

personalizing their space until they run out of space!

While I don’t have a permanent place to do as the stationary folks do, I can understand how it gets comfortable.

I already feel too comfortable –

and it’s only been a week and a half.

 

At the end of the day, I ask myself what I’ve accomplished (besides having new learning experiences).

The past week and a half I’ve come up the answer, “I’ve done some work.”

Great — now what?

When I get home from being at the office, whatever crazy hours I want to work, I tell myself that I’m doing something terribly wrong.

Because literally, I am.

I’m missing substance.

I’m missing quality time and interactions with people that I used to know.

I’m missing time that could be spent on cultivating new friendships.

This has only been since I’ve been cooped up in Mountain View…

where things are a bit dull for my mind racing 500 million miles a minute –

where I just want exposure to everything I can get my hands on

and anything anyone is willing to teach me. 

 

In the past week and a half I’ve acquired impatience.

Examples of this include: 

• road rage — hating the commute. One of these days I will probably cause an accident because I’m so fed up with the stop-and-go traffic in the AM and PM. 
• people walking slow in the middle of the walkway (in the office) — nearly impossible to  pass them unless I say, “excuse me.”
• lack of excitement/boredom in the office.

So I try to laugh at all the dumb things throughout the day because laughter is the key to a healthy soul, right? And frankly, that’s the only “excitement” I get at work. It’s a bit sad…?

I need to get-away. I need exercise. I need to be outdoors. I need perspective. I need a nice long hike. I need motivation. I need energy.

It’s only taken me 4 months to feel like the real world has put a damper on my “livelihood.” It’s taken 4 months to finally feel like I need a change of landscape, where the environment will force me to slow down and enjoy my surroundings. I need to remember what it’s like to appreciate what is in front of me so that I can balance my work/life better.

I need change. I can’t have this constant — at least, not without choice. I hate that this constant of being in the office is something that I have to do right now. I want to be able to say, “Yes, I want a constant environment right now and I’m going to make it happen.”

That’s something I would do if I needed down time.

I don’t want downtime. 

I need to be fed information.

I need to be active.