I am a woman of words (perhaps superfluous at times).

…And I also do as I say.

When I write them down.

Typically.

I’ve come pretty far since year 1:

• http://pipsyq.wordpress.com/2008/01/01/serendipity/
• http://pipsyq.wordpress.com/2008/12/26/we-are-our-actions/
• http://pipsyq.wordpress.com/2010/01/01/1-year-forecast/
• http://pipsyq.wordpress.com/2011/08/13/goals-till-the-end-of-2011/

Looking back — my list of “unfinished business” become the following:

• Practice meditation
• Volunteer in ICO to take youth on outdoor trips
• Visit 11-12 closing state parks
• Pick up an old activity: yoga, rock climbing, slacklining
• Travel: Europe
• Backpacking Trip: Skyline to Sea Trail

Items still “in progress:“

• Define concrete principles
• Career focus
• Re-energizing volunteer work via RC organization…we’ll see what happens.

Rejuvenate and focus on the following in 2012:

• Exercise: hiking, running, yoga, kick-boxing, horseback riding, slack-lining, dancing, weight-lifting. At least 3x a week for an hour or longer.
• Reading: Sci-Fi books (re-tap into my imaginative side), and more books in general. 1 book a month.
• Food: Eat out less(!) — this will be very difficult to do since there’s so many good restaurants in the city that I want to try. Having a partner in “food crime” also does not make things easy! On the flip side, this means cook more — and work in cooking lessons with PH’s mom and wherever else I can find lessons.
•  Emergency Preparedness: Make a plan & kit
• Clean out the closet: Literally, get rid of things that I “might” use, but know I will never touch again. This may involved getting rid of old keepsake/momentous items. I think I need to “start my life over” by not having any attachment to old material things. The only things I can/should keep are digital (i.e. photographs)…and maybe letters too.
• Relationship time: Visit/hang out with friends and family at least once a month. Phone/email/text/letter when unable to meet in-person.

Things for the future future:

• Travel Europe
• Live somewhere in South America to learn Spanish fluently
• Live somewhere in Asia to learn Mandarin fluently

• Don’t take work home unless WFH.
• Eat lunch out of the office.
• Get up every hour to stretch.

Outdoors

• Visit 11-12 closing state parks

Exercise

• Running for the Wells 11k/5k
• Pick up an old or new activity: yoga, rock climbing, slacklining

How do you know what is healthy?

How do you know what you should change versus leaving it alone and being agreeable?

I am happiest at work when:

people show consideration toward me
people treat me like a respectable adult
people acknowledge that I’m human and not a machine
people are benevolent rather than coercive toward me

How much is a healthy amount to be treated like anything but the characteristics above?

I can tell you what I want and what I don’t want.

I want to learn and grow.
I want to be engaged and valuable.
I want to have enthusiasm for what I’m doing.

When you give me boring, menial tasks of copy/paste/delete or anything that has nothing to do with my actual real roles and responsibilities, I am going to question why you’re being a fucking dickhead.

The more I stay,
The more I am realizing that I might not be cut for the corporate world.
Rather, I don’t want to conform to the corporate world.

If you’re not going to tailor to what I want, then why the fuck should I do what you want?

I’m starting to think I should be my own boss.

The only problem is, what would I do to be my own boss?

Everyone seems to be jumping ship.
I hate that feeling of being alone, or the last one left.
I want to jump ship too then.
But wait.
I just started.
What is this anxiety?
Perhaps it’s the lack of leadership and passion to carry out a vision.
Perhaps it’s the lack of interest in me for the next one in line to care to push me in a successful direction.
I have a lot of apprehension about the future here.
I should not worry for things I cannot change.
Somehow I need to roll with the punches but I’m having a difficult time accepting the fact that the organization, culture, and my responsibilities are most likely going to change drastically.
I’m okay with small change, just big ones don’t sit well.

Especially when they occur like a  slow death.